Table 3 Experiences of contingency, ultimate life goals and the work of art

1

Experiencing loneliness during the illness trajectory

Experience (God’s) love and sharing (God’s) love

A blanket with a projected uterus consisting of flowers, representing a loving and nourishing environment. A picture of the patient sleeping under the blanket. A poem the patient had written

2

After several years of being palliative, feeling fear about the uncertainty of the illness trajectory

Freedom in living life to its fullest and refrain from emotional suffering

Several art works consisting of used bandages from chemotherapy treatment, representing lifecycles and ending this period in life

3

Difficulty in accepting being palliative and fear of emotional and physical pain

Experiencing trust in life’s ways and experiencing connection to others

An art work consisting of leaves that represent a phoenix arising from the ashes of previous fears, and being supported by loved ones

4

Fear of physical pain during the illness and the process of dying

Surrendering to a state of inner stillness, a state where acceptance is present

A designed hiking map meant to experience moments of stillness and reflection, representing the road to find an ultimate stillness as a state of being

5

Difficulty accepting that time is getting shorter to experience connection with loved ones

Connecting to loved ones

A musical movie representing life’s journey leading to the light with support from significant loved ones

6

The death of a life partner and subsequently experiencing meaninglessness and lack of connection in life

Experiencing connection to others

A musical movie containing seraphine music performed by the patient in the church that recently became his new place of connection and meaning

7

Regret about missing the warning signal to start pursuing ultimate life goals earlier in life

Becoming one with the ultimate stillness, experiencing acceptance and a wider view on life’s struggles

A wool felt garment embroidered with feathers, representing an attitude of softness and finding a wider perspective in welcoming life as it is

8

Difficulties expressing multiple facets of herself

Self-expression in work and family

A full body portrait with passionate bright colours representing experimenting with intense expression

9

Experiencing loneliness in connection to others

Experiencing self-worth and receiving and sharing love in connection to others

A self-portrait consisting of multiple drawings containing elements of her life, representing all that is important to connect to in life

10

Experiencing fear for the moment of dying and entering the afterlife

Experiencing self-worth and receiving and sharing love in connection to others

A paper-mache bridge constructed of paper from shredded diaries, representing her spiritual transition from earthly life to the after life, guided by the love and connection of significant others